Whisper, Don’t Shout: How to Communicate So They Can Hear

---

I remember when my kids were little. Vaguely, but I do. Like all good parents, we tried to instill in our children a sense of right and wrong, as well as proper behaviour. This was often times an uphill battle.

After one particularly frustrating experience with our kids, my husband said with exasperation “they just don’t listen to me! Even when I yell, they act like they don’t hear!” My response was to suggest that if yelling wasn’t working, maybe it was time to whisper.

This principle is applicable in many areas of life, but none more so than communications. If I had a dime for every time someone expressed their frustration when their stakeholders didn’t get the message, I would be a rich woman. Or at least better dressed. The exchange usually goes something like this:

“How can they say they didn’t know? We sent out an email that outlined everything for the next six months and we enclosed a three page newsletter attachment that explained why we made that decision.”

“but they say they didn’t know when it was?”

“no, and it is very frustrating. What do we have to do, hit them over the head with it?”

What they don’t realize is that they have already hit them over the head with it. They have been yelling at people when maybe it was time to whisper.

People today are bombarded with information and they have it coming at them from every angle, and in every medium. As a matter of self-preservation, they have learned to tune out information that isn’t relevant to them. Unfortunately, this tuning out is not a foolproof system.

When faced with an overwhelming amount of information, people will often skim and discard it if they don’t think it applies to them. Or, they will skim and file it away to look at when they have time. And we all know, we never have time.

If your audience consistently misses important messages you are sending, here are some questions to ask yourself.

1. Is this something your audience cares about?
This might seem like a pretty simple question, but it is one that often trips people up. Remember, just because something is important to you or your organization, doesn’t mean it is important to your audience. Don’t rush past this question, spend some time and consider whether or not this information is something your audience can do anything with. Ask yourself, is this information actionable? If not, will it inform their actions?

If the message you are trying to communicate is not important to your audience, then don’t try to make it important to them. It won’t work.

2. How often do you need to inform your audience?
People who send out an email update every day run the risk of not being heard. Unless it is a daily horoscope, or you are providing stock pricing information. If you are in constant contact, there is bound to be a lot of stuff you are saying that is not important to your audience. When that happens, they will have a hard time differentiating between the truly important emails from the not-so-important ones. Kinda like the boy who cried wolf, you will end up being ignored. And deleted.

3. How does your audience get their information?
Sending out direct mail if your audience consists mainly of homeless people doesn’t make much sense, does it?

Give some thought to how the people you are trying to reach live, work and play. Are they avid computer users? Do they get their news mainly from a newspaper or their local community group?

You might even consider going out on a limb and just asking them how they would like to hear from you. Crazy thought, but it might work.

After spending some time on these three questions, you should be able to craft a message that is important to your audience, that is sent out only when necessary and in a format that works for them. Then, in a room full of yelling people, your audience will be leaning forward with anticipation to hear what you are whispering in their ear.